The Part of the Fairytale...

I swear the evil Queen in Snow White had a lover. He was probably young, and, knowing her, not very manly--she definitely enjoyed being in control.

I kind of feel sorry for him. I mean, what if he pissed her off? You know how angry she was with Snow White--and that was just for having nicer skin and hair and lips and eyes and pretty much every physical attribute ever. That wasn't even anything intentional--or political--yet we all know what happened to her. Undeserved poisoning. Discrimination by virtue of birth--genetics--genocide. (She did get a Prince Charming in the end by some act of deus ex machina, but that's just a tidy example of karma--completely unrelated.)

No, I think the Queen's lover was an effeminate man who probably wasn't a robot and instead thrived on originality and creativity--though why he would use a mind like that to love a witch like her is far beyond me. Maybe he channeled his originality into something cool--like dreadlocks. Maybe that's what got the queen so pissed off--a random misinterpretation of creative expression to be some sort of political call to anarchy or something equally nonsensical.

And maybe to apologize he did something arguably sweet--stole her batch of apples, laid them on her bed like rose petals, and then waited for her, naked under the sheets--a nice little surprise for when the angry Queen came home.

Unfortunately for him, he probably didn't realize that she likes her apples venomous--a poison not deterred by a thin layer of skin.

Poor guy.

I told you I feel sorry for him.